Who’s the Right Therapist?

So you’ve made the decision to look into therapy for your kid, yourself or your family.  But, now what? Who do you go to? You could ask around.  Or browse through one of the many online directories* until you find someone that you might like. 

Beyond the decision to get therapy, choosing who you will hire is just as important. And how do you even decide who will be a good therapist for you?  After all, what works for your friend  or neighbour, might not work for you anyways.  Here’s our top tips to consider:

Goodness of Fit

The client-therapist relationship is the single, most important therapy factor in determining success in therapy.  In fact, a solid body of research continues to show that it contributes to 30% of the success in therapy.  The other factors include therapy techniques (15%), external factors in your own life (40%), and hope for change or placebo effect(15%).

It makes sense that a strong client-therapist relationship is a required pre-condition for change. You could be using the most effective therapy techniques and models, and have all the supports you need, but if you really hate your therapist, things will not shift.  On that note, if you don’t like the therapist, chances are that your kid won’t either, no matter how much you fake it. Remember how kids are emotional sponges?

Their approach

Many therapists use an integrative or eclectic approach, meaning that they have training and experience in several therapy models. This allows us to custom-fit a model to the person, rather than trying to force the person to fit into the model. After all, no one likes being crammed into a cookie-cutter model. 

While the field of therapy and counselling is relatively young, there are still over 100 different models and approaches. A good therapist will get to know you and your family, and seek to find an approach that will fit for you. And if they don’t have training in a model that would be a best fit for you, they’ll refer you elsewhere.  

A side note: Child/teen and family therapy training is considered a specialized training.  If you’re looking for services for your child or your family, ask specifically about this.  Knowledge and training on child and adolescent development, how mental health challenges present themselves in kids, ways of working with a younger population, and family therapy models (yes, there are several!) are all foundational pieces for a well-trained Child & Family Therapist. 

Relatability

The client-therapist relationship is an odd thing; this person is a stranger, yet someone who you’ll share some of your most personal things with.  While your therapist is not your friend, you want to hire someone who you will feel comfortable with, someone who you feel will “get you” and your family.  Transparency and honesty are important, and you should always feel like you can bring your whole self, and all of who you are, into the therapy room.  In some cases, you might want to consider hiring a therapist from a similar racial, religious or cultural background. Remember the session is about you and your family, and it is okay to have preferences!

Therapist Experience

How many years of experience do they have?  Most therapists will have a Master’s degree and several hundred clinically supervised hours.  But there’s certain things that only experience can teach, and a novice therapist who may still be very intelligent and capable, will be different to someone with at least 8-10 years of experience. 

Beyond the number of years of experience, there are other things to consider as well. Do they have experience working with the issues you want addressed?  Therapists specialise for a reason. Someone who sees mostly adults for anxiety and mood-related issues will not have the same skillset as someone who works with kids and their parents on separation anxiety, for example. 

Ask Questions

Your hard-earned money is paying for this, and you have every right to ask as many questions as you need to.  Any therapist following their professional ethical guidelines will in fact, welcome questions and encourage you to raise them throughout your client relationship. Have you ever worked with someone with a similar problem?  How will I know if things are off track? How old are your kids? Where did you receive your training?  What degrees do you hold? Why are you asking me that question?  Why have we not addressed my family’s issues? Why haven’t you talked to my kid about her anger when that’s the thing I’m worried about? These are all questions that we’ve received as therapists, and ones that we have gladly answered for our clients. 

Window Shop

Many therapists offer free consultations, so take this opportunity to “shop around”.  After browsing through directories and asking for referrals, the next step would be to create your Short List. We suggest that you create a list of 3-5 potential therapists, and connect with them.  While video sessions often give the most feedback, phone conversations can also be helpful if this is not an option. Your consultations will give you an idea of what you are looking for, and also what you are not looking for. If you’re shopping for a Child & Family Therapist, listen to your kid(s) voices and feedback too, and take that into consideration.  They’ll tell it like it is, and that itself is gold.

Intuitively, you will know who may be a good fit for you and your family, for your therapy goals, and for this time in your life. Things change - the person that may be the right therapist for you right now, may not be the same person who will be the right therapist for you at another point in time.  As with most things in life, this too, is transient. 

And on that note, we wish you all the best! 

*Some reputable online directories include: PsychologyToday, TherapyOwl, Ementalhealth.ca

Sources:

Common Factors Model (Imel & Wampold, 2008) 

The Heart and Soul of Change: What Works in Therapy (Hubble, Duncan & Miller, 1999)